Bryce Canyon National Park! -Heather

“Where can I find free dispersed camping near Bryce Canyon?” This was my google search - Manni likes to make fun of the fact that I search google using complete sentences and fully formed questions instead of just typing key words. Despite his ridicule, my query succeeded and resulted in several responses- most of which offered vague directions and quite a few semi-confident suggestions. So, there we were, rolling in to Bryce canyon at near-sunset, with our interpretation of the ambiguous directions supposedly leading toward the fabled campsites. We turned off the road and back on to it, repeatedly, making little loops on that section of highway.

“That road doesn’t exist… neither does that one…Oh No… Manni, our GPS sucks…!”

We decided on trying one final road, and there, a half mile in, a right turn, and some maneuvering around a fallen tree later…. We struck gold- Our favorite campsite of the trip: A large circular clearing amongst a forest of trees, with an old fire ring sooty black from use and an unforgettable view overlooking the bright reds and brilliant hues of pinks yellows and oranges that make up the bluffs and spires of Bryce Canyon’s neighboring ridgelines. We were just outside of the park, about 5 or 6 miles, which meant we were on National Forest rather than National Park grounds…. For those of you wondering why that matters… the words “free” and “uncrowded” should be mentioned.

That night we made a big feast of… drumroll!!! …Dehydrated mashed potatoes and a huge can of bush’s baked beans. We rolled the windows down a little extra that night.

The next morning, we lounged around, utterly content to sleep in, waste time, and be both Lord and Lady of Leisure. Once we got going we did a big “drive-by” tourist trip… it was great. Pull over, PICTURE, look how good I look next to this tower, back in the car and on to the next sight… repeat. We did the whole “Bryce Canyon Scenic Drive” all the way to the point, where on clear days you can see for hundreds of miles, on especially clear days you can even see the earth begin to drop away at the start of the Grand Canyon (this is in another state!). We took, or rather attempted to take, a hike at the Rainbow View Point, but at nearly 9,000 feet in elevation, our trail was covered in snow and fallen trees which made our hike less than successful- we had to turn around and head back. We substituted our failed hike with some canned soup for lunch at the picnic area. This concluded our wonderful drive tour… Manni liked to call it the “AMERICA!!! Tour” because we didn’t even have to leave our car to see the beautiful views.

We decided to get some ice-cream and groceries at this ‘little’ market connected to a hotel on the outside of the park. They sold EVERYTHING- Fake Indian beads, t-shirts, groceries, “hand-made” (in china) tourist trinkets, gasoline, and all those ridiculously cheesy/trashy mugs and bumper stickers and magnets that say things like, “My other car is a fishin’ boat!” and “Cowboys do it with a rope!” and even “No fat chicks" (probably with a picture of baby chicken to complete the terrible pun)… yes that store was classy. So were the creepy people who just stared at Manni and Me. I mean Really… Stared… like drop all the things they were holding, stared. It was weird. I just don’t think we look that interesting. But maybe they could just tell, by our scent, that weren’t from ‘round there.

…Which is why I don’t feel bad about “robbing” them by using their hotel’s guest internet. We went in to the car, and streamed a live Redwings vs. Sharks Stanley Cup playoff game for over an hour until our battery died. Ha.

The next day we woke up at 5 am to drive to Sunrise Point for… SUNRISE!!!! It was absolutely beautiful, if not a little crowded (apparently word got out that sunrise point is a good spot to watch the sunrise… go figure eh?). But, we beat the crowds by doing a mini-hike out to an opposing point. We definitely got more bang for our buck at that vantage point. After the brilliant golden rays had blanketed the valley floor of Bryce canyon, it was time for that vital fuel, which all travelers must have: coffee! We just whipped out our backpacking stove and had boiling water in 3 short minutes, followed by that precious liquid-ambergold drink shortly thereafter. Suddenly, our peaceful morning, with sunrise and freshly brewed coffee, was very abruptly and rudely shattered by the piercing screech and echoing annoyance of someone’s car alarm. It lasted for a long while, and my ears and then eyes quickly directed my attention to the offenders of our serenity. I appeased their obvious need for attention by glaring at them with a menace unrivaled… after several minutes the alarm stopped. Only to start again a few minutes later. The people just stood by their car doing nothing, then it would stop, and they would try to open the door again, and the whole obnoxious cycle would repeat. < at about 5:30 in the morning>> So the car alarm goes off for probably the 8^th time (not exaggerating) after the people try to open the hood of their car. At these careless people and their little spectacle I ultimately yelled, “This is a National Park! For God’s sake respect this place or go home!!!” It was then, when I put my glasses on in order to further enhance the authority of my visual-, and now verbal-chastisement, that I realized it was a group of very confused and utterly helpless Asian tourists. A family. Without English. Obviously with a rental car or even a new car that was very simply, out of their control.

I only felt a little bad about yelling at them. The whole saga continued for about 45 minutes and finally a nice young man, (nicer than Manni or I) came to their aid. He set the alarm off too. Apparently it was actually a problem with the car computer and it really was out of their control. The helpful man called a Ford dealership and they sent help. I felt a little bit worse, knowing that they just didn’t know what to do, but seriously, call AAA or something, if you try and fail more than 3 times to get your car working, call for help!… preferably before you send all the birds in Utah fleeing into the next state for fear of your thunderous car alarm- which ultimately lasted more than an hour echoing and reverberating off of the canyon walls and famous red spires of Bryce Canyon National Park.

After that little fiasco, we went to the visitor center for hiking information. In the center, they had a little display supporting a “Save our Prairie Dog” charity. If you donated $25 you got a “birth certificate” of a Prairie Dog being protected and a cuddly little stuffed animal to represent your contribution. To my enjoyment, I discovered, that not only were they indeed fuzzy and adorable, but they also had a little squeaker inside them!! Just as I squeezed the fuzzy animal toy and giggled at the little squeak, an older couple walked up… I held the toy tightly, and giggled nervously to hide my embarrassment and obvious delight in playing with a child’s toy, “ha, ummm… it’s a Prairie Dog!!” I stuttered while smiling with guilt. And then… the man replied, in a most unexpected way: “I wanna SHOOT ‘em!!” he exclaimed, with full seriousness and an awkwardly proud little grin.

At this, I said, “oh nooooo” while releasing the pressure on the Prairie Dog tummy… letting out a long slow and melancholy squeak… echoing my surprised dismay....

And it was to the poor little Prairie Dog that we waved goodbye as we headed out of Bryce Canyon National Park… beautiful and bizarre (including the people… minus, probably, the beautiful part)…